American Idol for President

In a culture where talent is not a prerequisite for fame, where fame itself has become the only criteria needed for success, it is only sensible that Barack Obama become our next president. After all, this is a country that parades Paris Hilton for her celebrity, that tunes in to watch the families of talented persons, and that has become infatuated with shows like Dancing with the Stars and The Amazing Race. Yes, ours is a culture primed for a know-nothing, do-nothing, superstar-celebrity president.

He was a symbolic senator who voted present as often as he voted substantively. Now he is a symbolic presidential candidate whose best quality is that he has not spent enough time on the Senate to make any grave mistakes. He has apparently learned from Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan that the best way to maintain fame is by doing nothing. Because the great teachings of the Spears/Lohan school tell him that when you are one of the world’s great celebs, opening your mouth can only do you harm. So he stands in front of his rock-star crowds, or amidst his movie-star paparazzi, and he blabbers the same words over and over, never risking his celebrity by saying something that could actually draw criticism.

What began as a whisper in Iowa, has spread to a circus across America. We have Obama girls and media pillows, 24/7 coverage of campaigning in Europe, ESPN specials, and $9,000,000 fundraisers disguised as Hollywood parties. The presidential election has turned into a full blown season of American Idol. Make your candidate a media superstar, show him on television every night, let the people who watch vote, and there is your new American President. It does not matter if the other candidates are a bit more talented or experienced than he is. It does not even matter if they perform a little better at their tasks or seem more equipped to hold down the job. What matters is giving him a compelling back story the viewers can relate to. Or making sure he gets the bulk of the media coverage so that the viewers, er voters, know his name better than the other guy. Make sure he says just the right things at just the right times without ever saying much of anything at all. Then let the crowds roar and chant and make MTV videos out of his speeches, and before anyone knows it he has already won.

Welcome to Obamamania. It is a new hit reality television series airing on every major network. A story about a community organizer from upper class Illinois who broke through the national stage thanks to politicians like Oprah Winfrey and Michael Moore. There are episodes featuring bad economics, big government, and extremist left wing politics. But viewers pay no heed when overwhelmed by the presence of the show’s star. He commands the screen with stirring orations and hypnotic repetition. He is featured on more magazine covers than Tiger Woods, and has more articles written about him than the actual president. With his smooth talk and mass appeal, he is staged to be the biggest of celebrities, the culmination of American pop culture- the ultimate American Idol.